The “See the USA” commercial on Glee reminded me of other classic television commercials that I miss. Once I got started making this list, it was hard to stop! How many of these products can you guess from the slogan? It helps to be older’n dirt, like I am.
1. See the USA in a __________.
2. It’s the real thing.
3. Double your pleasure, double your fun.
4. __________ tastes good like a cigarette should. (Yes, they once advertised cigarettes on tv!)
5. The music goes “Zoom zoom”; the drummer goes “Boom boom”; and everybody shouts “Hooray for __________.”
6. Oh, __________ I’m glad they put real borax in you.
7. Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us, all we ask is that you let us serve it your way.
8. Does she or doesn’t she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.
9. The quality goes in before the name goes on.
10. It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!
11. No one can eat just one.
12. Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
13. Is it live or is it __________.
14. __________ has a better idea.
15. Taste that beats the others cold, __________ pours it on.
16. Stronger than dirt.
17. __________ is your kind of place.
18. Come to where the flavor is.
19. I’d like to buy the world a __________.
20. Fill it to the rim with __________.
21. You’ve come a long way, baby.
22. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz; oh, what a relief it is.
23. From one beer lover to another.
24. __________ melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
25. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
26. When you’re number two, you try harder.
27. Reach out and touch someone.
28. Look, Ma, no cavities!
29. Put a tiger in your tank.
30. Good to the last drop.
31. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
32. When you’re out of __________, you’re out of beer.
33. __________, __________ tastes great. Wish we had some, can’t wait.
34. Wouldn’t you really rather have a __________?
35. In the valley of the jolly, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
36. Aren’t you glad you use __________? Don’t you wish everybody did?
37. You can trust your car to the man who wears the star.
38. Get a little closer, don’t be shy.
39. Bring out the __________ and bring out the best.
40. You’ll love those tiny little tea leaves in __________ tea.
41. Nothing says loving like something from the oven.
42. My wife, I think I’ll keep her.
43. Everybody doesn’t like something but nobody doesn’t like __________.
44. Fly the friendly skies of __________.
45. The dogs kids love to bite.
46. You’re not fully clean unless you’re _____-fully clean.
47. Us __________ smokers would rather fight than switch.
48. You get a quick tan, a double tan, when you use __________.
49. Please don’t squeeze the __________.
50. So complete, all you add is love.
51. No more ring around the collar.
52. If it says __________, __________, __________ on the label you will like it, like it, like it on your table, table, table.
53. Tastes so good, makes you feel like a king.
54. Sorry, Charlie, __________ doesn’t want tuna with good taste. __________ wants tuna that tastes good!
55. There’s always room for __________.
56. Nothing beats a great pair of __________.
57. Take __________ tonight and sleep. Safe and restful, sleep, sleep, sleep.
58. All of my men wear __________ or they wear nothing at all.
59. Raise your hand if you’re __________.
60. Be careful how you use it.
Here is a bonus for the locals:
Stop, shop, and save at the sign of the shears and the name __________.